Post(s) tagged with "George Carlin"

Here’s a bumper sticker I’d like to see: “We are the proud parents of a child who’s self-esteem is sufficient that he doesn’t need us promoting his minor scholastic achievements on the back of our car.

- George Carlin (via thebaffled)

Source: thebaffled

Posted by Headless 13 May 21 i---i Permalink
George Carlinparentssonsfamily

Source: ohcomeooon

Posted by Headless 2 May 42 withintheribcages Permalink
George Carlincomedianwisdomfearmoneychildrensystemhouseteachingteachers

Source: appropriate-disorder

Posted by Headless 16 March 80 amodernmanifesto Permalink
George CarlinCarlinquotejobworking
fuckyeahdrugpolicy: George Carlin

fuckyeahdrugpolicy:

George Carlin

Source: fuckyeahdrugpolicy

Posted by Headless 27 February 108 purehemp Permalink
George Carlinquotefreedomrichpoorcorporationsdemocracylobbyingcritical thinkingobediencewall streetows1%99%believingbuyingmediapoliticsamerican dreamUSUSA
In the U.S. there are 380 different kinds of shampoos to choose from, yet there are only 2 contending political parties to vote for.

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(via arabstateofmind)

We call it freedom of choice. There is an illusion of choice. Americans are led to feel free through the exercise of meaningless choices. There are only two political parties. There is a reduction of the number of media companies. Banking has been reduced to only a handful of banks. Oil companies. These are important, and you’re given very little choice.

Oh, but the flavor of jellybeans? The flavor of muffins? A bagel? You can get a Pina Colada bagel. We’re given the illusion of choice by the meaningless of choices of trivial things. You know what your freedom of choice in America is? Paper or plastic, buddy? That’s it. After you’ve said cash or charge, maybe it’s Pepsi or Coke? Window or Aisle? Smoking or No?. Everything else you’re kinda guided towards by focus groups and marketing research.

- George Carlin

(via cultureofresistance)

Source: arabstateofmind

Posted by Headless 21 January 496 thegrazing Permalink
choisedemocracypartiesGeorge Carlin
9gag: Word of wisdom

9gag:

Word of wisdom

Source: 9gag

Posted by Headless 19 January 2396 sirpsych0sexy Permalink
George Carlinquotestupidity

Source: longjohndriller

Posted by Headless 18 January 317 theshortestgirlonearth Permalink
atheismreligionbigotryreligionsnationalismUSUSAmilitarismgodsoldierGeorge Carlin
Questo è un posto dove l’alcol fa più vittime della droga e tutti se la prendono quando qualche atleta inizia a farsi di cocaina. Sapete, Time Magazine e Newsweek, mettono la cocaina in copertina, ma lettono le pubblicità dei liquori dentro la rivista. È il vecchio paradosso americano, sapete: «Dì una cosa, fa tutt’altro». È la nostra storia. Siamo fondati sul paradosso: questo Paese è stato fondato da schiavisti che volevano essere liberi. Giusto? Cioè: un gruppo di schiavisti, che voleva essere libero. Capite? Quindi hanno ucciso un mucchio di bianchi inglesi per continuare a possedere i neri africani, così da poter far fuori il resto dei rossi indiani e spostarsi ad ovest a rubare il resto della terra dalla gente di colore messicana ottenendo così un posto da cui partire per sganciare armi nucleari sui gialli giapponesi. Sapete quale dovrebbe essere il motto di questo paese? «Voi dateci un colore, noi lo cancelliamo».

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George Carlin, What the Fuck am I Doing in New Jersey (via dapa)

<3

(via lasciateognistronzata)

Di George Carlin non ne nasceranno più, purtroppo…

(via unblasfemo)

Source: dapa

Posted by Headless 16 January 44 unblasfemo Permalink
George Carlinschiavismousaalcooldroga
America’s leading industry, America’s most profitable business, is still the manufacture, packaging, distribution and marketing of bullshit. High-quality, grade-A, prime-cut, pure, American bullshit. And the sad part is, that most people seem to have been indoctrinated to believe that bullshit only comes from certain places, certain sources: advertising, politics, salesmen – not true. Bullshit is everywhere. Bullshit is rampant. Parents are full of shit, teachers are full of shit, clergymen are full of shit, and law enforcement people are full…of…shit - this entire country. This entire country is completely full of shit, and always has been. From the Declaration of Independence to the Constitution to the Star-Spangled Banner, it’s still nothing more than one big steaming pile of red, white and blue, all-American bullshit. Because, think of how we started. Think of that. This country was founded by a group of slave-owners who told us all men are created equal. Oh yeah, all men, except for Indians and niggers and women, right? I always like to use that authentic American language. This was a small group of unelected, white, male, land-holding, slave-owners who also suggested their class be the only one allowed to vote. Now, that is what’s known as being stunningly and embarrassingly full of shit. And I think Americans really show their ignorance when they say they want their politicians to be honest. What are these fuckin’ cretins talking about? If honesty were suddenly introduced into American life, the whole system would collapse!

- George Carlin (via the-zeitgeist-movement)

Source:

Posted by Headless 9 December 49 amodernmanifesto Permalink
George Carlinindustrybullshitusapolitics
karankapila: “We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly, laugh too little, drive too fast, get too angry, stay up too late, get up too tired, read too little, watch TV too much. We have multiplied our possessions but reduced our values. We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often. We’ve learned how to make a living but not a life. We’ve added years to life, not life to years.” - George Carlin

karankapila:

“We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly, laugh too little, drive too fast, get too angry, stay up too late, get up too tired, read too little, watch TV too much. We have multiplied our possessions but reduced our values. We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often. We’ve learned how to make a living but not a life. We’ve added years to life, not life to years.”

- George Carlin

Source: karankapila

Posted by Headless 5 December 747 wild-asthewind Permalink
George Carlinvalueslife

cultureofresistance:

George Carlin on Entropy

“Nobody trusts the local water supply, nobody, and that amuses me. I like that, I admit I’m a bit perverted, but it amuses me that no one can really trust the water anymore. And the thing I like about it the most is, it means the system is beginning to collapse, and everything is slowly breaking down.

I enjoy chaos and disorder, not just because they help me professionally, they’re also my hobby, you see, I’m an entropy fan. I’m an entropy fan, when I first heard of entropy in high school science I was attracted to it immediately. When they told me that in nature all systems are breaking down, I thought what a good thing, what a good thing, perhaps I can make some small contribution in this area myself.

And of course it’s not just in nature, in this country, the whole social structure just beginning to collapse, you watch, just beginning now to come apart at the edges and the seams. And the thing I like about that, is that it means it makes the news on television more interesting,…

The planet will be here for a long, long, long time after we’re gone, and it will heal itself, it will cleanse itself, cause that’s what it does. It’s a self correcting system…”

Source: socialuprooting

Posted by Headless 18 October 89 butcher-blues-deactivated201110 Permalink
george carlincarlinwaterlocal water supplytrustsystemcomedianchaosnatureentropytvtv newsbad newscatastrophescatastrophe
Now, you’ve probably noticed I don’t feel about that war the way we were told we were supposed to feel about that war; the way we were ordered and constructed by the United States government about that war. My mind doesn’t work that way. I got this real moron thing I do - it’s called thinking. And I’m not a very good American because I like to form my own opinions, I don’t just roll over when I’m told to. Sad to say, most Americans just roll over on command. Not me. I have certain rules I live by. My first rule - I don’t believe anything the government tells me.

- George Carlin (via roadtosedition)

Source: roadtosedition

Posted by Headless 7 October 75 al7ur Permalink
George Carlinamerican politicsanarchismanarchyfreedom of speechseditionwarusa
People say, ‘I’m going to sleep now,’ as if it were nothing. But it’s really a bizarre activity. ‘For the next several hours, while the sun is gone, I’m going to become unconscious, temporarily losing command over everything I know and understand. When the sun returns, I will resume my life. If you didn’t know what sleep was, and you had only seen it in a science fiction movie, you would think it was weird and tell all your friends about the movie you’d seen. They had these people, you know? And they would walk around all day and be OK? And then, once a day, usually after dark, they would lie down on these special platforms and become unconscious. They would stop functioning almost completely, except deep in their minds they would have adventures and experiences that were completely impossible in real life. As they lay there, completely vulnerable to their enemies, their only movements were to occasionally shift from one position to another; or, if one of the ‘mind adventures’ got too real, they would sit up and scream and be glad they weren’t unconscious anymore. Then they would drink a lot of coffee. So, next time you see someone sleeping, make believe you’re in a science fiction movie. And whisper, ‘The creature is regenerating itself.

- George Carlin (via willuminati)

Source: arreter

Posted by Headless 6 October 14224 vcoupdegracev Permalink
george carlindreamingsleepingsci-fiscience fiction
Only a nation of unenlightened half-wits could have taken this beautiful place and turned it into what it is today, a shopping mall. A big fucking shopping mall.

- George Carlin (via solilunaire)

Source: fuckyeahpsychedelics

Posted by Headless 5 October 881 solilunaire Permalink
george carlinusaquotemallshopping mall

cultureofresistance:

There is just enough bullshit to hold things together in this country. Bullshit is the glue, that binds us as a nation. Where would we be without our safe, familiar, American bullshit? Land of the free, home of the brave, the American dream, all men are equal, justice is blind, the press is free, your vote counts, business is honest, the good guys win, the police are on your side, god is watching you, your standard of living will never decline… and everything is going to be just fine— The official national bullshit story. I call it the American okie doke.

Every one, every one of those items is provably untrue at one level or another, but we believe them because they’re pounded into our heads from the time we’re children. That’s what they do with that kind of thing—pound it into the heads of kids, ‘cause they know the children are much too young to be able to muster an intellectual defense against a sophisticated idea like that, and they know that up to a certain age children believe everything their parents tell them. And as a result, they never learn to question things. Nobody questions things in this country anymore.

Nobody questions it—everybody is too fat and happy. Everybody’s got a cell phone that’ll make pancakes and rub their balls now— Way too fucking prosperous for our own good. Way too fucking prosperous, Americans have been bought off and silenced by toys and gizmos. And no one learns to question things.

- George Carlin

Source: princessstabbity

Posted by Headless 27 September 8811 tydude Permalink
George CarlinusacomedianwisdomquestionssatisfactionConsumerismsocietyhappinessbullshitchildren

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